Kid: Yeah give me a pack of Marlboro Reds.
Cashier: Are you 18?
Kid: It's okay, they're a metaphor.
jadorejcrew:

dingyfeathers:

lmao thank god someone made this.

Everyone needs to read this

jadorejcrew:

dingyfeathers:

lmao thank god someone made this.

Everyone needs to read this

recoverykitty:

On the phone with my friend in korea and he’s explaining to me in english that he must stop smoking because he doesn’t want to become impotent. 

Walking down Gangnam street he says (in english) “I must stop smoking for my dick. My dick is important. If my dick does the broken I cannot sex.”

and I hear in absolute plain english behind him “WHAT”

bitterboob:

chrisynova:

best response to a sexist boyfriend

this movie tho

hobovampire:

veronox:

hungarian:

testicles are actually filled with candy so hit them really hard with bats

dont do this

you just want all the candy for yourself don’t you

icarly-official:


day 29, they still suspect nothing

icarly-official:

day 29, they still suspect nothing

Work until you no longer have to introduce yourself.
(via shadowmysweetshadow)
phatticuss:

okay scary story time my sister hid this pic of Michael Jackson behind my pillow and when I lifted my pillow I saw this and I screamed so loud I can’t even handle looking at the pic omfg

phatticuss:

okay scary story time my sister hid this pic of Michael Jackson behind my pillow and when I lifted my pillow I saw this and I screamed so loud I can’t even handle looking at the pic omfg

hotsuburbandad:

This is fake. They haven’t been sat on that rock for 50 years. If you look closely you can clearly see her swimsuit is different in the second photo, it has stripes on it. And the guy’s shorts seem to have a more floral pattern in the latter photo.Also, if someone sat on a rock for 50 years, it would have made the news. My theory is, they simply returned to the same location 50 years later, and recreated the original photo.

hotsuburbandad:

This is fake. They haven’t been sat on that rock for 50 years. If you look closely you can clearly see her swimsuit is different in the second photo, it has stripes on it. And the guy’s shorts seem to have a more floral pattern in the latter photo.Also, if someone sat on a rock for 50 years, it would have made the news. My theory is, they simply returned to the same location 50 years later, and recreated the original photo.

givenchy-babe:

X